Kristin Cavallari You're Bernard Hopkins?! ... I'm Not Impressed.

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The Mission: Boxing legend Bernard Hopkins wanted to take a stab at being a TMZ paparazzi on the streets of NYC today.

The Target: MTV star Kristin Cavallari ... who also happens to be married to Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler.

The Result: Bernard started off strong ... but things fizzled pretty quickly when it became clear Kristin had no idea who he was.

The Best Part: Bernard's post-shoot analysis ... where he talks about his paparazzi strengths and weaknesses ... and reminds us that Kristin's smokin' hot.

Ya gotta watch the clip -- B-Hop could have a stellar career behind the camera if the whole boxing thing doesn't work out.

Darren Sharper Charged with Sexual Assault ... in Arizona

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Darren Sharper has just been charged with 2 counts of sexual assault in Arizona stemming from allegations he raped two women in Tempe back in November ... TMZ Sports has learned.

The Maricopa County Attorney's Office tells us ... Tempe detectives submitted the case to a grand jury, which decided there was enough evidence to charge Sharper with a crime.

As we previously reported, cops say ... two women claim Sharper drugged their drinks and sexually assaulted them at their apartment on November 20th.

Cops say they recovered the cup Sharper used to serve one of the women ... and it tested positive for traces of Ambien ... the drug Sharper allegedly used to knock out his victims.

AZ officials tell us Sharper has been charged with 2 counts of sexual assault and 3 counts of administering dangerous drugs.

Sharper has denied any wrongdoing in any of the 5 states where he's been accused of rape.

Sharper is still sitting in an L.A. jail cell while prosecutors in New Orleans decide whether to charge the former NFL star for allegedly raping a woman in Louisiana.

Sharper's attorney in Arizona, Skip Donau, tells TMZ Sports ... "We vigorously deny the allegations and expect at the end of the process to be exonerated."

He continues, "We are disappointed at this stage in the proceedings at the media coverage generated by the prosecution in various states, which we believe may deprive Darren of a fair opportunity to defend himself."

Anthony Davis 21st Birthday Shocker Huge Party, No Booze

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Anthony Davis did the unthinkable for his 21st birthday ... he woke up WITHOUT a hangover -- TMZ Sports has learned the NBA superstar didn't take a single sip of alcohol at his b-day party.

Davis celebrated the big 2-1 on Tuesday ... and to celebrate, his friends and teammates threw him a party at Desi Vega's Steakhouse in New Orleans on Monday night ... before hitting a local sports bar called Walk-Ons.

We're told 95% of Anthony's New Orleans Pelicans teammates attended -- along with his friend (and fellow Red Bull endorser) Lolo Jones.

But when the clock struck midnight, and Davis was legally allowed to booze ... we're told Anthony stuck with iced tea and sodas -- and told employees he was serious about sobriety because he wanted to be fresh for practice in the morning.

Pretty mature for a 21-year-old.

Fun Fact -- We're told New Orleans rap legend 5th Ward Weebie also came out to Walk-Ons and performed at Anthony's party ... and even led the crowd in a rendition of "Happy Birthday."

Alec Baldwin I Got QB Advice from Joe Montana ... Don't Lift Weights!

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Alec Baldwin can fire the hell out of a football ... and there's a good reason why -- he once got QB advice from Joe Montana.

Baldwin was hangin' out in NYC today when someone broke out a football -- and Alec proved he's got a cannon for a right arm.

The footage is pretty impressive -- Alec hits his receiver in stride, runs a play-action pass with a moving car ... and then dishes out QB advice to one of the guys on the street.

But the most interesting part ... Alec tells a story about when he met Joe Montana and the 49ers legend explained that he never lifted weights during his playing days because he didn't want the muscles to screw with his throwing motion.

At one point Alec says, "I don't think he would bulls**t me."

Check out the clip -- you might learn something.

Dan Cortese Breaks Huge 'Rock N' Jock' News ... Disses Justin Bieber

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Dan Cortese and Bill Bellamy are BRINGING "ROCK N' JOCK" BACK ... well, at least that's the plan according to Dan.

TMZ Sports spoke with the former MTV star who tells us he and Bill Bellamy are officially trying to get the franchise back on the air ... but Dan says there's just one catch.

FYI -- RNJ was HUUUGE back in the day ... with Dan and Bill scoring big stars like George Clooney to mix with music stars, athletes and other celebs for A-list softball, basketball and even football games.

So, which stars are Dan and Bill hoping to land for the show this time around?

Watch the clip -- it ain't Justin Bieber ... that's for damn sure.

Michael Jordan Could Still 'Embarrass' NBA Players ... Says Al Jefferson

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51-year-old Michael Jordan could still DESTROY some NBA players ... despite the fact he hasn't played in the league in more than a decade ... so says Charlotte Bobcats big man Al Jefferson.

Now that Al plays for MJ's team ... we had to ask if he's ever challenged his boss to a little 1-on-1 when no one was looking.

"Nah, he might beat me ... embarrass me man ... hurt my confidence!"

Al could have a point -- after all, MJ was seen DUNKING at a shoot-around session a couple of months ago.

Baller.

TMZ Sports Show Clinton Portis Is Secure in Tight Pants & His Sexuality

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Clinton Portis instantly got blasted for wearing some extremely tight pants on TV -- and says he doesn't care if people call him gay. But are these pants really the statement anyone ... gay or straight ... wants to make?

Plus, Deion Sanders retired from football, but says he's still got game in the rap arena -- we all remember "Must Be the Money." Well we're gonna put Prime to the test?

And everyone's buzzing about Phil Jackson going to the Knicks ... everyone but Charles Barkley, that is. Is Chuck right that even Phil can't save NY?

Lil Boosie Nick Saban Is the Enemy LSU Needs to Kick His Ass

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Now that he's finally free, Lil Boosie is working on the important things in his life -- starting with fixing the LSU football program.

The Baton Rouge rapper was talking to the LSU student TV network a couple of days ago ... when he declared war on Alabama head coach Nick Saban.

"Nick Saban gettin' all our recruits," Boosie said ... "We need to bring back them #1 players and get it back together man."

For the record, LSU isn't that bad ... and finished the 2013 season ranked #15 after going 10-3. But apparently, that's not good enough for Boosie.

In fact, the rapper even makes a recruiting plea to undecided high school football stars -- "put on that yellow jersey!"

Before he finished, Boosie reaffirmed his love for the Tigers -- saying, "I'm gonna bet the house on LSU ... win lose or draw."

'Basketball Wives' Star Pregnant Women Should KILL Temperamental Cats

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"Basketball Wives" star Jackie Christie thinks pregnant women with ornery cats should kill the kitties by hanging, choking or other means if necessary.

It's pretty shocking ... our photog asked Jackie (in the dark blouse) and her friend, Sundy Carter (who appeared in "Bringing Down the House" and "Soul Plane") about what a pregnant woman should do with a temperamental cat.

Both women have no mercy for fearless felines. In fact, Jackie actually thinks cats can suck the soul out of babies and even kill them.

You gotta see this.

Floyd Mayweather Allegedly Involved in Kidnapping & Brutal Beating Over Missing Jewelry

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Floyd Mayweather allegedly orchestrated a savage attack on two of his employees he suspected of stealing his jewelry ... TMZ has learned.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ Sports ... the two men had been hired to work on Floyd's Vegas homes ... but when jewelry went missing, Floyd pointed the finger at them.

We're told the men claim they were contacted several weeks ago and instructed to meet Floyd at an off-site location.

When the men arrived, they claim Floyd was waiting for them -- along with a number of his "people" -- who proceeded to beat the living crap out of them with various weapons, including clubs.

Our sources say the attack was so brutal the men could have easily died. Both men had broken arms and legs and were hospitalized for several days.

One source put it this way, "It was some 'Breaking Bad' s**t."

We're told the men are adamant they never took anything from Floyd and it appears Floyd realizes that now. But here's the problem for the champ -- sources familiar with the situation say the attack amounts to attempted murder, mayhem and kidnapping. We're told the men have retained a lawyer.

We reached out to Floyd's people for comment -- so far, no word back.

Jimmy Graham & Pierre Garcon Ballin' it Up with U.S. Soldiers ... In Afghanistan

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Jimmy Graham only knows one speed -- game speed -- and during a USO trip to Afghanistan last week, he broke out his basketball skills during a 1-on-1 game with a U.S. solider.

The New Orleans Saints star -- along with Redskins WR Pierre Garcon and Dolphins punter Brandon Fields -- went to the Middle East to visit soldiers in the field.

"It was an uplifting experience," Garcon tells TMZ Sports ... "It's amazing seeing the work they are doing to protect us."

Garcon says everyone he met was a huge sports fan -- "They were telling us stories about how they wake up at 3am to watch football. And then depending on how their team does, they're in a good mood or bad for the rest of the day."

The gang not only traveled, ate and hung out with the soldiers -- they also tossed around a football in their downtime.

"This experience for me has truly been life-changing," Graham said in a statement following the trip ... "I grew up in a Military home and this just makes me more of a patriot. I have more of an appreciation for the little things we have back home each and every day."

Jonathan Martin TRADED TO 49ers 'Really Excited' to Reunite with Harbaugh [Update]

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Jonathan Martin's nightmare in Miami is finally over ... the alleged bullying victim has been just been traded to the 49ers, his agent has confirmed to TMZ Sports ... and J-Mart couldn't be happier.

We spoke with Martin's agent Kenny Zuckerman ... who tells us, "Jonathan's really excited. He's up at Stanford now. That's where he went to school. The 49ers are in his backyard."

Martin will be reunited with his old college coach Jim Harbaugh -- who's the head coach of the 49ers.

As for Martin's alleged tormentor Richie Incognito, still no word on his future in the NFL.

7:43 PM PT -- TMZ Sports also spoke with 49ers offensive lineman Adam Snyder who tells us he thinks the team is a great fit for Martin.

"It's a great new opportunity for him. He's coming in to a great group of guys, specifically the offensive line."

When asked if Martin will be treated with kid gloves due to the situation in Miami, Snyder shot that down -- saying, "We're gonna treat him like any other free agent that comes into our locker room."

As for his opinion on the trade -- Snyder says, "If he can help us win a Super Bowl, I'm all for it."

8:00 PM PT -- Dolphins GM Dennis Hickey issued a statement saying, “We feel that this move is in the best interests of all parties involved. We wish Jonathan well.”

8:02 PM PT -- Martin tweeted about the trade ... saying, "Opportunities are few in the NFL... Can't wait to get to work #9erEmpire."

Mike Vick Huge Props from Philly Politician ... He's No T.O.

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Don't count out Michael Vick just yet -- the guy could still be a STARTER in the NFL, so says the former Governor of Pennsylvania ... who says he wishes Vick well after his stint in Philly.

FYI -- Vick is a free agent and there's rumors that he's accepted the fact he might have to resign himself to being a backup if he wants to keep playing in the league.

But ex-Gov. Ed Rendell is taking issue with that ... telling us the guy could still be the #1 for a handful of teams including the Jets, Raiders and Vikings.

His sports knowledge is actually pretty damn impressive for a politician (especially when he starts talking about the 76ers).

Terrell Owens should take note -- not every ex-Eagle gets run out of town.

Deion Sanders 'Must Be The Money' Was a Hit ... Lemme Remind You!

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It's been 20 years since he dropped his first rap album, but Deion Sanders still knows all the lyrics to his biggest hit ... and earlier today, he even busted out a verse right on camera!!!

Prime Time was at the famous Time Life building in NYC today when we took the NFL legend all the way back to 1994 ... when he put out "Must Be the Money."

BTW -- Sanders still furiously believes the song was a hit (even though it never charted as a single) ... but says it doesn't matter because BEYONCE LOVED IT!!!

Now sit back, kick off your gators ... and enjoy the music.

Clinton Portis Tight Pants Don't Make You Gay They Make You Fashionable

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Skinny jeans don't dictate sexual orientation ... so says ex-NFL running back Clinton Portis who tells TMZ Sports he's already prepping for a wave of homophobic hate over his extremely tight pants.

The former Washington Redskins superstar rocked his new look during an appearance on the NFL Network last week ... and people instantly went to Twitter to deliver the gay jokes, such as:

-- "Clinton Portis dressing like he heading to the local gay bar & sh*t!!"
-- "Clinton Portis pants on nfl am gay as sh*t."
-- "Is Clinton portis Gay cause what he have on is wow Lmbo"

But Clinton tells TMZ Sports it doesn't bother him ... saying, ""People are really judgmental. They'll make comments, but I'm comfortable with myself. I know I like girls. I felt good about the outfit."

Portis -- who notes he bought the entire outfit at Zara for $300 (including the shoes) -- says, "People say 'I can't believe you wore that.' Give them some time and everyone will be wearing it."

Chris Johnson NAE NAE FAIL At Houston Nightclub

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Chris Johnson can not do the "Nae Nae" ... and it's sad.

He tried ... but he failed ... and TMZ Sports has the video.

The Tennessee Titans running back (at least for now) hit up Limelight nightclub in Houston Sunday night where the DJ brought the NFL star to the front of the stage to bust out some dance moves for the crowd.

But when the DJ broke out his "Nae Nae" ... CJ couldn't keep up ... and bailed out mid-Nae.

FYI -- The Nae Nae has become a huge phenomenon with athletes -- with Dwight Howard even starring in the official music video.

CJ2K wasn't the only star in the club that night -- Vince Young was there too.

No word on how he paid to get in.