Tim Allen to Lions: Jim Caldwell as Coach? HUUUUHHHHH?????

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Tim Allen -- Detroit Lions mega-fan -- isn't too pumped about his team's new head coach ... telling TMZ Sports he's not sold on Jim Caldwell after his disaster of a season in Baltimore.

The "Last Man Standing" star was leaving The Improv in L.A. last night when we asked how he felt about the former Baltimore Ravens offensive coordinator taking over the Lions.

His response was less than enthusiastic.

"Let's just say ... how well did Baltimore do with their offense this year? Kinda sloppy right?"

Allen raises a good point -- under Caldwell, the Ravens finished the season an abysmal 29th in total offense and lowly 25th in scoring.

Still, Allen -- a 45-year fan -- say, "I hope he does well."

Richard Petty to Danica: I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE ... Let's Race!

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Gentlemen ... and ladies ... start your engines -- 'cause Richard Petty says he's ABSOLUTELY DOWN to race Danica Patrick in a 1-on-1 grudge match after trading shots in the media.

Of course, this whole thing started when Petty criticized Danica's crappy record -- and D.P.'s friend/team owner Tony Stewart said Petty and Patrick should settle their beef on the track.

Well, today ... Petty went on "Fox and Friends" and said HE ACCEPTS.

”Yeah you know, I’m 76 years old ... and it’s been 25 years since I’ve been in a racecar, but I’ll take that challenge.”

He then asked, "When's this gonna happen?"

Good question -- ball seems to be in Danica's court now.

Terrell Owens Roasted In Philly Haha, You're Broke As Hell

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Terrell Owens was ROASTED at a charity event in Philadelphia last night ... and NOTHING was off-limits ... including his child-support issues, divorce and financial problems, TMZ Sports has learned.

The whole thing started off with some jokes about how broke he is ... with Brent Celek's ex-wife Susie Celek, along with Jon Dorenbos' wife Julie, taking shots.

-- "Since Jerry Rice doesn't need any money and T.O. is officially out of food stamps, let's get this thing underway!!!"

-- "Tonight, these people are gonna make fun of you. They're gonna say you're desperate and washed up and a cry baby ... Don't listen to them T.O., they're just bitter and jealous and RIGHT."

We're told Owens spent most of the evening playing on his cell phone while various people tried to make fun of him ... that is until comic Joe Conklin called him out in front of the crowd.

"Pay attention T.O. ... 'cause you're sure as hell not paying child support."

Conklin went on to roast about T.O.'s habit of impregnating just about everyone he meets -- "Now I see why you got the hamburger commercial, because the condom commercial fell through."

Hulk Hogan COMING BACK TO WWE

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Hulk Hogan is returning to the WWE, brother ... TMZ Sports has learned.

We know .. Hogan has been training at the WWE Performance Center in Florida ... and our rock-solid wrestling sources tell us the Hulkster will make his re-debut with the WWE on "Monday Night Raw" on Feb. 24th.

It's unclear if Hulk -- who hasn't been with the WWE since 2007 -- will actually be wrestling a full match ... but we're told he plans to get physical.

Hulk's return is scheduled to coincide with the debut of the new WWE Network.

But wait, there's more ... we're told Hulk will also appear at Wrestlemania XXX in April ... but it's unclear what his role will be.

HULKAMANIA!!!!!!

Fred Davis DUI Arrest ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL ... Cops Say

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Washington Redskins tight end Fred Davis was passed out behind the wheel of his Rolls Royce before he was arrested for DUI ... according to cops ... and TMZ Sports has a pic of the bust.

According to the police report, obtained by TMZ Sports, officers in Fairfax County, Virginia responded to a tip about a black male passed out in his car at a traffic light at 3:45 PM on Thursday.

When cops arrived to the scene, they approached the vehicle -- and when Davis rolled down his window, the smell of booze hit the officer like a ton of bricks. .

Cops say Davis admitted he'd been drinking at a friend's house.

Cops say Davis proceeded to perform terribly during field sobriety tests -- and he eventually blew a .17 on a breathalyzer.

Davis was eventually arrested for DUI -- cops towed his car from the scene.

Earlier in the week, Davis was suspended by the NFL for violating the league's substance abuse policy -- though Fred insists he simply took a substance that was not FDA approved.

Team USA Soccer Chick to Sports Illustrated: I'VE GOT A HOT BODY, TOO!!!

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Alex Morgan ain't the only chick on the U.S. National Soccer Team with a super hot body ... and Sydney Leroux is making sure Sports Illustrated knows it!!

Leroux -- who was part of the 2012 gold-medal winning Olympic team -- has been on a bikini photo posting tear ever since S.I. started to push the new Swimsuit Edition, featuring Morgan.

The pics ... they're good.

To be fair, Leroux's physique hasn't been totally ignored by the media ... she WAS featured in a semi-nude pic in ESPN's 2013 "Body Issue."

And get this ... there were rumors Sydney was dating 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick -- but neither side ever confirmed.

Too bad ... for him.

Redskins Tight End Fred Davis COTTON-MOUTHED MUG SHOT After DUI Bust

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TMZ Sports has obtained Fred Davis' mug shot ... taken moments after the troubled Washington Redskins tight end was arrested for DUI in Virginia on Thursday.

Davis was arrested at 3:45 PM -- and hauled to a nearby station where he was booked and posed for an angry mug shot, in which he looks like he's dying for some water.

It's been a bad week for the 28-year-old -- on Wednesday, the NFL suspended him indefinitely for violating the league's substance abuse policy. Davis insists he was merely taking a substance that was not FDA approved.

Story developing ...

TMZ Sports Show Khloe K. & Sugar Ray Big (God)Daddy Mixup

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Khloe Kardashian caused a lot of confusion on the Internet today -- 'cause apparently a ton of people don't know the difference between OJ Simpson and Sugar Ray Leonard! Can you say, generation gap?

Plus, Floyd Mayweather Jr. was BALLING big time at the Lakers game with diamond crusted earbuds. How much cash ya think he dropped on 'em?

And Ronda Rousey's UFC title isn't the only thing on the line in her upcoming fight with Sara McMann -- it's also a battle of Olympic medalists. Judo vs. wrestling ... who's tougher? Ronda's joining us.

Richie Incognito CHICKS LOVE ME Pulls 5 Girls at Hollywood Nightclub

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Richie Incognito was lady-killin' in Hollywood last night ... with 5 GIRLS getting into his car outside of a Sunset Strip nightclub ... and TMZ Sports has the footage.

Incognito was partying at 1OAK last night ... where we asked him if he had any advice for another NFL star in crisis, Ray Rice.

But Richie was more focused on another situation -- the 5 ladies from Wisconsin who were clearly interested in spending some private time with the embattled football star.

The girls all piled into his waiting ride ... but got out after only a few minutes. They hinted they were gonna meet up with Richie later in the evening.

But the best part ... when we asked the girls if Richie could be considered a good role model -- one of the ladies shot back -- "NO!! Because we are 18-years-old!"

Ha.

US Hockey Team FREE PORN FOR TEN YEARS If They Beat Canada!

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As if the men's USA Men's hockey team wasn't under enough pressure ... now a major porn company is making things worse -- by offering them 10 YEARS of free porn if they win gold.

... and not just any porn, HD PORN!!!

TMZ Sports has learned ... Brazzers says each player on the squad will get a month-long membership to the hardcore porn site if they beat Canada today ... and if they win the gold-medal game -- they'll get a full 10-year smut pass!

That's a whooooole lotta smut.

Don't screw it up Oshie.

Ray Rice Sponsor WE'RE STANDING BY HIM ... For Now

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Ray Rice is getting major support from one of his sponsors -- a company that tells TMZ Sports it's STANDING BY the Baltimore Ravens star in the wake of his domestic violence arrest ... at least for now.

Michael Wehrell -- president of the VertiMax sports training equipment company -- tells TMZ Sports Ray has been working with the brand since 2012 and has done a "great job."

Now, with criminal allegations looming, Wehrell tells us VertiMax has "no plans to release him as an endorsee, but we will assess the situation once we get all the facts."

Wehrell notes, "He's had an impeccable track record off the field. He's a great guy and has done a great job working with us."

As for Rice, Ray's attorney says the footage of Ray dragging his seemingly unconscious fiancee out of an elevator on the night of the incident doesn't tell the whole story ... and insists there's more evidence that will clear Ray's name.

Darren Sharper D.A. Is Tweet-Smearing Me Destroying My Shot at Fair Trial

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Darren Sharper is getting screwed by the L.A. District Attorney ... so says the NFL star's lawyer who claims prosecutors are unfairly trying to destroy his image 140-characters at a time.

Sharper's lawyer, Blair Berk, filed documents blasting the D.A. for an attempted "Trial by Twitter Feed."

In her scathing attack on the D.A., Berk unloads on prosecutors -- claiming they've "embarked on an orchestrated press campaign, through it's paid publicists, to smear Mr. Sharper in the media."

Berk says the D.A. has "intentionally [distributed] highly inflammatory and prejudicial, false, misleading and/or un-adjudicated evidence in this case, clearly intended to destroy Mr. Sharper's presumption of innocence and ability to get a fair trial without even a shred of evidence having ever been properly been admitted in a court of law."

Berk says the D.A. blew off Sharper's camp and ignored his request to present his side of the story before blasting out a statement to the media via the D.A.'s twitter account.

Berk is now asking the judge to step in and shut the D.A. up before they cause any more damage to Sharper's ability to get a fair trial.

Darren Sharper Judge BANS Him from Nightclubs And You Can't Be Alone with Women

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Darren Sharper has just been BANNED from all nightclubs and bars PLUS he's not allowed to be alone with any new women ... so ruled a judge who just announced the terms of Sharper's bail in his L.A. rape case.

The former New Orleans Saints superstar -- sporting a grey suit with no tie -- just appeared in L.A. County Superior Court and plead NOT GUILTY to allegations he drugged and raped two women in L.A.

The judge set Sharper's bail to $1 million and set a series of strict terms, which were actually proposed by Sharper's lawyer:

-- Sharper is to remain in L.A. County
-- Sharper was ordered to surrender his passport
-- Sharper must stay away from nightclubs or bars or any other establishments where alcohol is the primary item for sale.
-- Sharper may NOT be alone with any female he did not know prior to October 30, 2013.

During the hearing, prosecutors claimed they have evidence which shows Sharper had gone through 70 pills of Ambien in 65 days.

FYI -- prosecutors allege Sharper would use Ambien to spike the drinks of his victims.

He's due back in court on April 15.

LeBron James Happy Birthday Mom HERE'S A PORSCHE!!

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LeBron James channeled Oprah Winfrey for his mom's birthday gift ... 'cause SHE GOT A BRAND NEW CAR!!!!!!!

LeBron just surprised his mom with a white Porsche Panamera ... which can run up to $200k.

And if that wasn't enough, the NBA superstar included the following heart-felt message:

"Enjoy and love you momma! Trying to figure out how to give u the world but in the mean time enjoy your new toy! #ProudSon #SheGoneStuntOnMeNow #StriveForGreatness"

As for LeBron's dad -- well, he got something else this week ... a public "thank you" note from 'Bron for not being in his life.

"I have no idea who you are, but because of you is part of the reason who I am today."

Yeah, mom's gift was better.

Sochi's Olympic Athletes POOP FACES (Because It's Funny)

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Sochi's a dump ... so, what better way to pay tribute to the Olympics than with photos of the top athletes making bathroom faces?!

Whatever ... it's funny.

Go USA!

Darren Sharper New Rape Allegations in Miami Accuser Recognized Sharper from Rape News Coverage

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Another woman has come forward claiming she was raped by Darren Sharper -- only this time, the woman says she went to police after recognizing the NFL star from a TV news story about his other alleged rapes.

The new accuser's story sounds just like the others ... she and some friends met Sharper at a Miami nightclub on September 27, they drank, they went back to his condo.

According to the police report, obtained by TMZ Sports, the woman says she was "extremely intoxicated when she arrived to his condo." She eventually went to Sharper's bedroom with him and closed the door.

The report says ... sometime later, two witnesses heard the accuser telling Sharper, "No no I don't want to."

The witnesses reportedly entered the room "attempting to take [her] to her residence" -- but the alleged victim did not go and drunkenly told the witnesses she "wanted to sleep."

The next morning, the alleged victim claims she woke up with Sharper having sex with her, sans condom.

The woman says she immediately went to a doctor where she received treatment but did not file a police report ... until several months later, when she saw a news report about Sharper being arrested for allegedly raping 2 women in Los Angeles.

According to the police report, taken on January 19th (one day after Sharper's arrest) the woman told police she went to Miami Beach police because she wanted to "clear her conscience."