Roddy on Daughter -- Piper? You Hardly Know Her
Last night our photog was angling hardcore to get rowdy with Roddy Piper's daughter, Ariel -- but hitting on a chick in front of her dad, who used to kick the crap out of Hulk Hogan, probably isn't too bright.
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Where the Helio Has All the $$$ Gone?
Helio Castroneves has made more than $13 million racing cars and even more on hawking stuff, yet he doesn't have enough money to pay the lawyers defending him in his tax evasion trial.
Helio filed docs asking a judge to delay his trial for a year so he can race next year. According to the docs, he needs the money to pay his legal fees. But what in the name of Michael Vick did this dude blow all that money on? Not only did he make a pile, he even may not have paid his taxes.
Those "Dancing" outfits must have been really really expensive.
UPDATE 1:55 PM ET -- The judge wasn't buying it. The trial is still on for March 2009.
Michael Phelps -- That's Cold, Man!
Want to distract your friend so you can throw a bucket of ice on them? Have Michael Phelps distract 'em!
The prank went down last week at the Village Idiot Pizza & Pub in Columbia, S.C.
The Italian judge gave this prank a 9.7.
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Pacman's Only Pals Say He Screwed Them, Too
So everyone knows Pacman Jones is a douchebag. Who even knows (who cares) if he'll play football again.
But he's decided to alienate the last few people who might've taken his side -- his lawyers. They say in a lawsuit he owes them $23K in fees he never paid.
So now it's official. Pacman has no more friends -- even the ones he pays.
Tom B. -- Errand Boy to Water Boy
They let Tom Brady out of hiding again -- to do someone else's bidding, just not Gisele's.
Appears Tom hobbled over to a SmartWater gig the other night in Boston -- the company is paying him $3 mil to shill their pricey H20. "He looked a little thin," said a Boston Herald spy. "But seemed in good spirits." Well thank G.
Meanwhile, Tommy Boy has also begun his rehab down in Foxboro, "doing everything you have to do at this point," says his teammate Matt Light. Though the Pats are trying to keep the rehab under wraps.
Rowdy Roddy's Got a Hottie -- for a Daughter!
For a guy who usually wears a kilt, Rowdy Roddy Piper has some pretty damn good genes!
The wrestling legend/ cancer survivor hit L.A. this weekend for a night of clubbing with his daughter, and after seeing Ariel in that outfit, there was only one question that crossed the mind of any potential suitor: Would you take a chance at being put in a Sleeper Hold for a shot with his daughter?
Giambi Whips Out His Main Vein...
... the one on his arm.
Jason Giambi and his vascular extremities dwarfed his bald buddy, former wrestling superstar Bill Goldberg, during a night out at Wasted Space in Vegas the other night.
Giambi's physique* has never looked better.
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Piazza: I Blew It With Madonna
Legendary catcher Mike Piazza said he doesn't know much about the A-Rod/Madonna scandal because he was in Europe all summer -- but he did tell us why he blew his shot with the big, bad Kabballer.
Dating Site for Cheaters Scores
They've unsuccessfully tried to hook up Katie Holmes and had their billboard taken down in NYC, but now the lovely folks at everyone's favorite extra-marital dating website, AshleyMadison.com, are getting in on some Super Bowl action.
The controversial online site for married peeps is advertising in the official 2009 Super Bowl program and submitting this subtle ad -- featuring an oiled up, busty chick straddling the pigskin -- to the NFL for approval.
Does that look like a wardrobe malfunction to you?
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Fired Cheerleader: I Did 'Not See' the Swastika
The ex-New England Patriots cheerleader kicked off the squad for her role in a penis-happy, swastika infested photo scandal is finally talking -- and she's blaming the whole thing on bad judgment .... a really bad Halloween costume.
In a statement to TMZ, 18-year-old Caitlin Davis refuses to take responsibility for the offensive images drawn on a drunk guy who passed out at a party, because, "The kid in the picture was a 'drunk guy who passed out and was written on,' as his costume for the night."
It all went down in a dorm at Boston College. Caitlin claims, "Me and my girls left the dorm and went to another house and came back to the kid passed out on the futon we were suppose to sleep on. The guys ended up drawing more on him due to the fact that he was the first one to pass out on Halloween night ... At the time I had jumped in the picture with the kid, I didn't realize what had been drawn on him, which I take responsibility for not being alert."
She adds, "Me and my girlfirends [sic] took pictures with him because we found it humorous how badly he was drawn on."
More proof the Patriots are falling apart without Tom Brady.
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Patriots Cheerleader Fired Over Penis Scandal
The New England Patriots are none too fond of cheerleaders who draw penises, swastikas and anti-Semitic slurs on drunk people.
18-year-old Caitlin Davis got the boot from the football team's cheerleading squad, the Boston Herald is reporting, after several inappropriate and downright offensive pictures featuring Davis cheifing* a drunk person were found on her Facebook page. Doesn't anyone set those things to private anymore!?
FYI -- Davis recently dressed up as an angel for the team's Halloween celebration.
*cheif -- to write, mark, shave, sud or otherwise vandalize an individual who is comatose due to over consumption of alcohol.
Jose Admits Trying to Boost His Stones
Jose Canseco admitted what we've all known all along -- he's got no sack.
Canseco pleaded guilty to trying to bring a fertility drug across the border from Tijuana, and was sentenced to 12 months' unsupervised probation by a judge. Jose told the court he was trying to reverse the nut-shrinking effects of his steroid use.
JC was busted at the border last month with HCG, an illegal hormone compound.
L.A. Dodger -- I Wasn't Punch Drunk!
We spent the night arguing balls and strikes with L.A. Dodgers all-star pitcher Brad Penny -- as in, it took some balls to argue about the closed-fisted strike he threw during a bar fight last week.
Penny was real ticked that we claimed he was throwing punches outside Key Club, saying he didn't hit anyone. We saw things a little differently --
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Jock Jacked by Naughty Nurses
Looks like the records of sports stars are just as popular as the records of pop stars ... at least among doctors and nurses.
Twenty hospital workers, including nurses, admissions workers and patient relations staff have been fired this week -- accused of illegally accessing and passing around medical records of Jacksonville Jaguars' Richard Collier, according to News4JAX.
Collier was shot 14 times in September after a gunman walked up to his SUV as he waited outside an apartment complex. He was paralyzed from the waist down and one of his legs had to be amputated.
Lest we forget, 5 months ago hospital workers at UCLA were disciplined after accessing medical records without permission ... and we're told the patient was Britney Spears.
The Real Jerry Maguire -- You Complete Drunk
The legendary sports agent who was the model for "Jerry Maguire" was arrested again for allegedly getting wasted and yelling near an auto mall -- his 3rd arrest connected to booze.
Cops in Newport Beach, California say they found 59-year-old Leigh Steinberg laying down in the dirt near the Newport Auto Center. Steinberg was arrested on suspicion of public intoxication and later released on his own recognizance.
Steinberg was arrested in 1996 and 2007 for DUI, and is on probation for the latter offense.
B-Hop + Masseuse + Winky = Lawsuit
Bernard "The Executioner" Hopkins is one of the toughest fighters around ... who happens to really, really like massages. As in $35,227.50 worth of massages.
So claims a masseuse who worked on Hopkins back in 2007 in preparation for his fight against Winky Wright in Las Vegas. Michael Marzulli claims he had an agreement with Hopkins, did the work -- but then Hopkins didn't pay his $35K bill.
The masseuse is suing for the money he says he's owed, plus interest. Calls to the Hopkins camp were not returned.