Filet-O-Finished

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Gordon Ramsay should have stuck to his guns -- aka Ginsu knives -- because he went down hard with a leg injury while playing in a charity soccer match in England today.

We're told he pulled his hamstring and now has to watch from the sidelines.

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Tom Brady Badly Injured in Season Opener

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Tom Brady was just helped off the field by two Patriots personnel members after injuring his left knee. Paging Nurse Bundchen!

Kansas City Chiefs safety Bernard Pollard laid Tom out during the first quarter of their first regular season game -- and Brady is currently getting x-rays on his left knee. Brady's right foot was the injury that kept him out of all of their preseason games.

Backup quarterback Matt Cassel has taken his place on the field -- no word on whether Matt's dating Gisele yet.

As you can see in the photo -- legs aren't supposed to bend that way.

UPDATE: Even without their golden boy -- the Patriots won 17-10.

UPDATE 2: WEEI in Boston is reporting Brady suffered a torn ACL. If that's true, his season would be over.

Hot Sports Star Once Average Schmo

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The question: Will this turn Gisele on, or not.

Tom Brady was not always the ripped, handsome errand boy Ms. Bundchen has learned to order around. Check out his rookie NFL photo -- Tom looks like the before pic in a Bow Flex infomercial.

Boston.com interviewed a hash slinger at a diner Brady used to frequent, saying "He was all about the ham and cheese and onion rings." That was our guess.

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When Did He Turn 45?

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Ashton Kutcher -- coaching a high school football game in L.A.

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It's Good to be Michael Phelps

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Dateline Las Vegas, Friday, 5:00 PM at the Palms hotel. A chick to polish every medal.

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Tom Brady's Unreal Estate

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As if life couldn't get any better for Tom Brady being a hot, rich NFL quarterback with a supermodel girlfriend -- now it turns out the football star just made a killing in real estate. Donald Trump, we've found your apprentice.

In 2006, Brady bought a Boston building and began renovating and converting it into four condos. According to the Boston Globe, the New England Patriot kept the top floor for himself and recently sold the other three to a South American businessman for $7.95 million -- about $1.7 million more than he paid for the entire building. Housing crisis? What national housing crisis?!

Besides the Boston property, Brady recently purchased a plot of dirt in L.A. for $11 million and put his NYC pad on the market for $19 million. Comparatively, the Cowboys' quarterback Tony Romo is living on skid row, purchasing a home in Dallas for under $700K and having girlfriend Jessica Simpson decorate it. Oh, the humanity.

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Marion Jones Books It from the Big House

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TMZ has learned Marion Jones has sprinted out of Federal prison.

She just left a halfway house in San Antonio at 8:44 AM CT after serving her six month sentence for perjury.

Details to come ...

Serena Stays Stacked for U.S. Open

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The secret to Serena's success has just been revealed.

Those thick thighs hold what tennis dreams are made of.

Lakers Season: Wallet N' Keys or Busted Knees?

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The Lakers couldn't win the title without injured center Andrew Bynum, so just the sight of him walking around last night in Hollywood is music to their ears.

While Bynum claimed to be 100%, watch the video closely -- was he grasping for his keys or checking on his bum knees?

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Hot Chicks Playing Football Need We Say More?

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If at first you don't succeed, get more hot chicks in lingerie.

Last year, the Lingerie Bowl went limp and got canceled at the last minute. Now some (clearly genius) money men are involved, and it's back. They've gotten a whole effing league (the LFL) with team names like the San Diego Seduction, Chicago Bliss, and the Dallas Desire. We're told they've already booked the Staples Center for the L.A. squad.

And yes, there will be cheerleaders.

Cancer Society Burns Jordan Over Cigar Shots

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Millions of kids still wanna be like Mike -- and according to the American Cancer Society, that's a bad thing.

The ACS is fuming over several photos TMZ posted earlier of MJ playing softball with a fat stogie hangin' out of his mouth. Now, the ACS has unleashed a mouthpiece of their own, their former president Cary Presant MD, who told us, "When high profile athletes publicly display unhealthful habits they can mislead young people to emulate their behavior. According to the American Cancer Society tobacco use in this country is responsible for 1/3 of all cancers and remains the most preventable cause of death in our society. 8.6 million Americans suffer from chronic smoking-related disease. Since 1964 smoking has cause more than 12 million premature deaths in the U.S."

Calls to Jordan's reps were not returned.

Michael Jordan -- Smokin', Stealin', Tongue'n'

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With his professional baseball career already up in smoke, Michael Jordan decided to smoke up while playin' a little baseball yesterday -- and he was still better than everyone else on the field.

His Airness hit a local diamond in Atlanta for a Labor Day softball classic with his boy Jermaine Dupri -- where the former minor leaguer refused to take the cigar out of his mouth the entire game. He hit, he smoked. He stole, he smoked. He fielded, he smoked. He even ripped his jeans while sliding into third -- cigar in mouth the entire time.

Good thing he can afford a new pair.

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Reggie Hates Kim's Media Whorishness

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It's finally happening. Reggie Bush is getting sick and tired of Kim Kardashian's ego-maniacal obsession -- the paparazzi.

Maybe it was having to sit through Kim's "performance" in "Disaster Movie," but Bush was in no mood to deal with all the crap that comes along with dating a Kardashian as they left the theater last night.

Kim -- she loved it.

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Fred Taylor -- Jacksonville Jackass

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We've just gotten the Jacksonville Jaguar Fred Taylor arrest report early Saturday morning, and it's like a clinic on how NOT to deal with the popo.

First, says the arresting officer, Taylor got "vocal" and began to "argue" with cops and "attempted to insite [sic] the crowd of bystanders" when they wanted to search his Benz for guns. Then, when they sent a sniffer pooch to look for drugs, Fred really got testy, yelling, "Get that f***ing dog out of the car."

It got so bad, the cops gave up and just booked his ass for disorderly conduct. Taylor apologized to fans and the owner of the Jags for the incident.

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Jags Lineman Collier Shot, Fighting for Life

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Jacksonville Jaguars tackle Richard Collier is fighting for his life after being shot several times early this morning.

Collier was waiting outside an apartment building when a gunman shot into the car he was in. A Sheriff's rep says the six-foot-seven, 300-plus-pound Collier was shot several times but it's not clear where he was injured. He was taken to a local hospital where his injuries have been described as "life-threatening."

The motive for the attack hasn't been determined, and an investigation is ongoing.

McCain's VP -- Beaver Roundup

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Hopefully Sarah Palin has become the master of her own teleprompter, because she absolutely sucked at it in 1988 as a 24-year-old sports anchor for KTUU-TV in Anchorage. The third member of The Judds entertained Alaskans with the Beaver roundup in the 4 minute, deer-in-the-headlights performance.

The guys over at Deadspin.com found this gem.

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