Those Women Drivers...

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Danica Patrick isn't just dangerous behind the wheel of an Indy car, cops say she also posed a threat on the mean streets of Scottsdale, Ariz.

Court docs which show the race car diva was popped by Scottsdale P.D. back in January for doing 57 in a 40 mph zone. But here's the kicker -- Danica was ordered to take defensive driving school to get the ticket dismissed!

Guess the class worked -- because 40 days after Patrick finished her court-ordered traffic class, she won her first Indy race.

Those Red Asphalt videos really do work!

Jim Brown -- #32, Is That You?!

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Holy Geritol alert -- can that really be Jim Brown?!

Our photog was psyched to see the Cleveland Brown legend yesterday in Sunset Plaza -- but we're only 98% sure it's actually him.

If not, then some random dude is driving around in L.A. pretending he was in "The Dirty Dozen." Wouldn't be the first wannabe in this town...

Brady Plays House with Gisele

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Gisele Bundchen must have decided she wanted a mansion in L.A., because TMZ has learned that Tom Brady is jumping through hoops to build her one.

Sources close to the supermodel and her "Errand Boy" tell us Tom just closed a deal to buy a plot of dirt in Brentwood -- on Arnold Schwarzenegger's street -- for more than $11 million. We repeat -- he bought dirt for eleven mil!

TMZ is in possession of documents that show that Tom took out a mortgage of $8.225 mil that he will pay back in 5 years. The property -- approximately 3 acres -- was purchased under the name TGBE. We're wondering if the G stands for you know who ...

A source connected to Brady tells us he bought the west coast property to be closer to his kid. A source connected to his baby mama Bridget Moynahan says that excuse is total B.S.

There were blueprints for a 20,000-square ft. house already drawn up, but Brady nixed those because the pad wasn't big enough.

BTW -- on top of the $11 mil he dropped on the land, Tom also will have to drop some serious coin on the structure he plans on living in. Meanwhile, Tony Romo spent $699,000 on a place in Dallas county.

NFL Star Accused of Barbaric Hit On Pregnant GF

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A shocking lawsuit just filed ... a woman claims the father of her unborn baby -- an NFL star -- conspired to brutally beat her up.

Sharri Henry alleges last May, when she was four months pregnant, Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Dennis Northcutt got his cousin to "maliciously assault, beat, strike and batter Plaintiff, her face and head with great force and violence ... causing severe and permanent disfigurement to her face."

We've confirmed Henry filed a report with the LAPD for the incident that allegedly went down outside Falcon Club in Hollywood on May 17.

In the lawsuit filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, Henry alleges battery and conspiracy to commit assault. She's seeking unspecified damages.

BTW, Northcutt just inked a $17 million contract with his team.

UPDATE: IT JUST GOT CRAZIER. Northcutt's sports agent, Jerome Stanley, told TMZ, "This was nothing but a desperate shakedown by a jilted ex-girlfriend who is claiming to be pregnant with his child." Stanley says Henry is upset because Northcutt dumped her for another girl. As for the assault, Stanley says, "She verbally antagonized the guy who hit her." He says Northcutt knew nothing about the attack until after it happened.

Henry's lawyer, Loyst P. Fletcher, just gave TMZ the following statement: "Mr. Northcutt and his entourage, which included his current girlfriend, were apparently angry that Ms. Henry refused to abort a child that she believed he fathered. Words were exchanged and a member of that entourage, whom we believe is Mr. Northcutt's cousin, viciously attacked Ms. Henry." She's now 7 months pregnant.

Shaq Accuser: She Rolls With Restraining Orders

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The woman who has accused Shaq of harassing her has herself been accused of stalking.

Alexis Miller, an Atlanta rapper who goes by MaryJane, got a restraining order against Shaq last week, claiming he threatened her and, among other things, made heavy-breathing phone calls to her.

We got hold of court papers flied last year by Lakisha Renae Hall. A judge ordered Miller to stay 500 yards away from Hall and have no contact with her.

And the plot thickens. Shaq is not the only one who incurred Miller's wrath. In October 2007, Miller tried getting a restraining order against Jonathan Stubbs, claiming he stalked her -- once pulling out a gun, shooting it once and yelling, "Who were you with?" That petition was dismissed because Miller never followed through.

Crappy Quarterbacks Want Their Dollarsback

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The guy who helped Tom Brady become Gisele's bitch wants to make a major Swiss bank his bitch.

Drew Bledsoe -- forever famous for relinquishing his job to Tom Brady in 2001 and never getting it back -- says UBS swindled him out of a wad of cash. Here's why: Drew says he invested a bundle in a company called Pay by Touch through UBS, but the bank concealed the criminal past of John Rogers, the founder of Pay by Touch. Rogers raised $130 mil from investors -- but made a grand total of $700K.

Here's the funniest part, though: Drew's co-plaintiffs are a hilariously C-list group of NFL QB failures, including Rick Mirer, Craig Nall, and Alex Van Pelt. No wonder they're gunnin' so hard for UBS' dough.

UBS didn't have any comment.

Lisa Leslie That's Some Serious Bling

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4x Olympic gold medalist Lisa Leslie showed off her new baby at LAX yesterday. Oh yeah, her adorable one-year-old daughter was there too.

Liukin's Publicist -- The Real Nasty-a

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Just because Team USA gymnast Nastia Liukin scored gold in the all-around event doesn't mean her publicist needs to be an all-around b*tch!

The ice queen wouldn't let her elastic client stop to sign even one autograph outside Beso last night, with the publicist shutting down everyone who got close.

The gal should probably take a lesson from Liukin's Beijing roomie, Shawn Johnson, who was relentless with the John Hancocks outside Letterman.

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Mr. T Snickers At the Whole Homophobic Thing

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Mr. T...a fan of race walking in the Olympics...not that there's anything wrong with it.

Watch T do damage control after taking heat for appearing in a race walking-centric, arguably homophobic Snickers ad.

Olympic Village -- More Sex than Woodstock

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Guess this is what happens when chiseled, half-naked Olympic athletes hole-up together in one place.

Former Olympian Matthew Syed, who now works as a commentator, wrote for the Times of London, "This sex fest ... [happened] right here in Beijing. Olympic athletes have to display an unnatural ... level of self-discipline in the build-up to big competitions. How else is this going to manifest itself than with a volcanic release of pent-up hedonism?"

Syed said that winners "as geeky as Michael Phelps" were sought after by the female athletes, but that losers get their share as well.

Matthew says he "got laid more often in those two and a half weeks (at the Barcelona games in '92) than the rest of my life up to that point." And he was freakin' table tennis player!

Guess a little ping-pong goes a long way sometimes ...

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Oh Hell Taekwon-No!

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Being a sore sport doesn't even begin to cover this one. Cuba's Angel Matos deliberately kicked a referee in the face after the ref disqualified him in a bronze-medal match today.

Matos had been hurt during his round of fighting, and he was disqualified for taking too much time to recover. Pissed off, Matos rebounded from his injury pretty quick -- whacking the ref square in the face with his foot. The World Taekwondo Federation has recommended he be banned for life.

Woman Calls Shaq a Heavy and a Heavy Breather

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Shaq has been officially restrained from going near a woman who claims after they broke up he terrorized her.

Alexis Miller, an Atlanta hip-hop artist who goes by MaryJane, just got a restraining order against Shaquille O'Neal, alleging he threatened to hurt her and harassed her with heavy-breathing over the phone.

The docs claim following their break-up last month, Shaq "threatened to 'blackball" [her] from the recording industry by paying established artists....$50,000 each for their agreement to refuse to perform or record with her in the future..."

According to court docs Shaq wrote her one email that reads, "I dnt no who the fuk u think u dealin wit u will neva be heard from one phone call is all I gotta make no try me. Sho me."

The docs also allege Shaq sent her "an unsolicited vulgar and offensive illustration of a man physically restraining a woman while forcing her to engage in sexual intercourse with him."

O'Neal is scheduled to appear before a judge on Sept. 4.

A call to Shaq's rep was not returned.

UPDATE: MaryJane's lawyer, L. David Wolfe, tells us his client has known Shaq for 18 months. We're told Shaq has sent her multiple emails that have caused her concern.

Leryn Franco: Hot and Horrible

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Leryn Franco is getting a lot of buzz in the Olympics -- but it's not because of her amazing athletic skills.

The woman is so hot she could set off the Olympic torch! She put such a spell on folks in Bejing that people are still talking about her, even though Franco didn't even make it to the finals, and finished 51st in qualification.

Now that's staying power.

Venus Williams -- I'm No Dribbler

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Venus Williams made one thing clear yesterday -- she only likes her balls green and fuzzy.

Even though she's a 6'1" athletic superstar, Venus claims she's never tried to dunk a basketball because "It's not her sport."

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Olympic Abs

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Even if these Olympians don't bring home medals, they're all winners in the department that really counts!

The O(face)Lympics

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After years of hardcore training, veteran athletes and up-and-comers alike, all use the Olympics as a huge physical release.